awe and wonder

A lot of posts have been about adventures or discoveries, and others strictly about recipes or the atmosphere, but this post, this teeny tiny magical post, is about a feeling. I haven't pinned down what that feeling is exactly, perhaps it's more of an aura than a feeling anyway, but I'd have to say it's along the lines of awe and wonder (and those might be the same thing, but they bring up different emotions so for now let's just say they are different).

I think it's important that we start from the beginning, the beginning of our journey as expats. Being an expat is a truly unique experience, out of the realm of moving to a different city in your home country or traveling abroad for a semester. When you begin life as an expat you are starting from scratch, from just you and your husband and a city that you've never visited before and an apartment that you can't quite envision. This is your life, this is where you begin, without friends, without a clue, but with a whole lot of unknowns.

My biggest concern was that we wouldn't have friends. In my whole life I've never just up and moved somewhere where I didn't know a soul. 'Home' is the place I have lived sine I was two years old. I went to grade school then to high school and then to college and finally to graduate school and along that journey there were always familiar faces. And then we moved to Switzerland, just us, just me and Zach, no friends and no familiar faces. Just us. It took a little while and a bunch of first friend dates, but now we have a truly wonderful group of friends.

They are our friends, but they are also our family - our Zürich family.

If you've been/are an expat then you can understand this type of family. In some ways it was automatic, we were all reaching for the same thing, a friendship we could hold on to, a friendship that would calm the uncertainties and highlight the excitements of life as an expat.

And to think we've only known them for six months! These are the friends we spent Thanksgiving with and the friends that delivered take-out (no such thing as delivery in Zürich) when I was sick. These are also the friends that we were lucky enough to visit in the hospital just one day after they welcomed their little baby boy, Sam.

And that is where all that awe and wonder come in!

She has a baby. I mean I knew it was coming. As long as I've known her, Laura was pregnant. He was in there the whole time. But now he's out here. He is here. He was in and now he is out (this is where I begin to state the obvious, but I can't help it - awe and wonder people, awe and wonder). Isn't it amazing?

Perhaps all of this awe and wonder hit me like a freight train moving at warp speed because Laura was (he is out, he is here, incredible) the first pregnant woman I had spent a good amount of time with. I knew she was growing, I knew he was coming (obviously, he had to arrive at some point), but now he is here, and I have held him in my arms, because he is here to be held.

There simply aren't words, just an aura composed of awe and wonder and a whole lot of other magical feelings. Magical feelings that make a nonbeliever believe, believe in big lofty intangible things.

But with all of this happiness I can't help but think that this time and this Zürich family of ours is fleeting. One of the key components of expat life is the reality that this is just temporary, whether it be two, five or ten years, we will all eventually go back home. Of course as some go, others will arrive, but someday, probably shortly after he turns one and a half, Sam will leave. That little boy I held in my arms at just one day old will be able to walk onto the plane with his favorite stuffed animal in hand and fly away. Magical.

The hours between when Sam arrived and when we were able to visit him were long. I was so excited I could barely see straight. So I baked Laura and Paul some cookies. It's a recipe I learned from Laura around Christmas time (Sam was there) and it's "bangin" as Laura would say. These cookies thrive on the marriage of peanut butter and chocolate. And considering I don't think there is a better combo out there, not even mint and chocolate, I adore these cookies and their soft chewy texture with the chocolate plopped on top.

Sam's Peanut Butter Blossoms

makes about 4 dozen.

ingredients

- 1/2 cup (113g) unsalted butter at room temperature

- 3/4 cup (185g) peanut butter, smooth or chunky (if you are in switzerland Migros makes a much better peanut butter than Coop)

- 1/3 cup (70g) light brown sugar

- 1/3 cup (70g) granulated white sugar

- 1 large egg

- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

- 2 tablespoons milk

- 1 1/2 cups (195g) all purpose flour

- 1 teaspoon baking soda

- 1/4 teaspoon salt

- granulated sugar for coating

- chocolate pieces for topping - I used hearts but hersey's kisses are the standard.

With an electric mixer or hand mixer cream the butter until smooth and creamy. Add the peanut butter and sugars and continue beating until light and fluffy. Follow with the egg and vanilla. Beat in the milk.

In a separate bowl whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Add to the butter mixture and beat until incorporated. Place the cookie dough in the fridge for an hour or until hard enough to roll into balls.

Preheat the oven to 375ºF (190ºC)

Roll the batter into 1inch (2.5cm) round balls. Place the granulated sugar in a small bowl and roll each ball lightly in the sugar, coating the outside. Place on a baking sheet, spacing about 2inches (5cm) apart.

Bake the cookies for about 8-10 minutes, or until the cookies are lightly browned. Right after you take them out of the oven put the chocolate piece on top of each cookie, pressing down gently until the cookie just starts to crack. Let the cookies cool completely on a wire wrack (you want the chocolate to re-solidify)